My feet have a unique odor.The odor has been around ever since I wore my first pair of leather Sebago shoes, without socks, during the first day of school, in the heat of August, of the 5th grade. The result was a few blisters and a stench that would evolve into the horror it is today. Now, I was used to blisters: I frequented local rollerskating establishments donning my poor fitting Chicago skates. So a few first-day-of-school blisters were more like a symbol of some sort of accomplishment. But what I wasn't used to was the smell.
Add a few years of puberty, sports, about a decade of the same wool socks, and a unique ability to forget to wash my feet in the shower, and I present to you my wife's interpretation of my unique odor as described innocently a week ago:
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Me: takes shoes off, turns on TV to look for movie, expresses concern of smell
Mary: "Hey there sexy, is that seat saved for me?"
Me: "Sure is."
Mary: snuggles into his neck "You smell good, you smell like vanilla."
Me: "Really? Vanilla?"
Mary: "Well... yeah, well, now it -- kinda smells like butter!"
Me: "I smell like vanilla and butter?"
Mary: "Why do you smell like vanilla and butter?"
Me: "It's not like I put butter on me - I'm allergic to dairy, why would I smell like - oh, wait..."
Mary: "What is that smell? Now it smells like burnt butter and vanilla... almost like..."
Me: "Well, I did just take my shoes off."
Cleaning my feet isn't the problem - I do get down there and do some dirty work in the shower. TWSS. But lately I've been on the brink of developing a foot complex. What did I not learn as a kid? How come my shoes stank like rotten pumpkins?
That dialogue is a pretty accurate account of how I discovered Jared's feet are on the verge of fermenting in his shoes...the only good thing about that is if he can, in fact, pull off a "vanilla and butter" smelling alcohol in his shoes, he wouldn't be allergic to drinking it.
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